In vestry, everyone knows we occasionally have discussions that involve controversy – that is, an issue arises about which some members feel “naturally” inclined one way, others in a different or even opposite way, and often these are ingrained responses that seem to pop up automatically: we just look at the world from divergent viewpoints. As this year’s vestry began its work, I felt that, unlike the other committees on which I serve, vestry was different. Vestry felt like a multi-cellular entity, but not like an organ of the body of the church. Maybe the word I need is trust: perhaps we did not have enough trust in each other to believe that each had an acceptable view or opinion on the issues before us.
One of the reasons to have a large vestry is to make sure we have multiple points of view represented, so that we aren’t all holding the elephant’s leg and assuring each other that this creature is like a tree. With more people, there’s a chance someone will be holding the elephant’s trunk, or tusk, or tail, and so have a different view of the same truth. We could make decisions with a vestry of 6, but they’d be “poorer” at least in the sense that they would not have the wealth of broad experience a larger, diverse group can supply. As long as we all trust each other to be speaking faithfully as Christians.
At a recent meeting, Lydia introduced our possible participation in National Night Out saying, “Some people have raised a concern….” It was me who had spoken to her a day or so earlier, and as surprise about the concern showed around the table, I felt I had to own it. I expressed my concerns, though rather poorly, as I had not expected the subject to come up. Lack of foresight is no excuse; I muddled through an attempt to explain my view, while a few other members interrupted me to express their disagreement.
When it was over, no one had agreed with me, and I felt much the outsider. But two things stuck in my mind: One was the way that a senior vestry member I had expected to disagree with me, had actually sat quietly while I spoke, clearly listening, giving me the full benefit of the doubt. The other was that, as I said good bye to leave after the meeting, another senior vestry member came along to walk me out and chat, restoring my feeling of community.
These little actions were two nuggets of gold I held close. I knew that the Spirit was at work, that our vestry is finding a sense of itself, becoming a team. We are not so much a group of separate people as we were in February. Trust has begun to grow. We are forming a community, containing different views but able to hold them all at once within a web of trust and God’s love. It’s a joy – and an adventure! — to be part of this process.
Bob Lotz